DID ANYONE THINK TIGER WAS PERFECT?
12.09.09
It appears that the parade of morally decadent women and ambluances have taken the day off, which is fine. It’ll finally free me up to write that NBA piece I’ve been putting off since the playoffs last spring. But seriously, this story will pick up again as soon as Tiger goes out for milk, and he’ll be expected to give back his endorsement money and make some bold act of contrition. But what good does any of that actually do?
Look, even when Gatorade and Nike and the media at large prop these guys up on pedestals, nobody believes that they’re perfect. Sure, we were shocked when Kobe nailed that white girl in Colorado, but were we surprised? It’s been pointed out that Rachel Uchitel, the first of the alleged Tiger mistresses, was much more of a VIP madam, basically serving as a de facto grand marshal for the parades of Tiger ‘tang, and doing so for about $15,000 per month. Nice work if you can get it.
We know that Tiger’s not a perfect guy, even though his “image” might have dictated otherwise. But the issue with this story is that there’s no other side for the reader to take. “Tiger’s a philanderer” seems to be the only opinion to have. Kobe’s image, for the most part, has recovered from his transgressions. So will Tiger’s, and it won’t because he’ll have bared his soul for all to see. It will be because he starts winning golf tournaments again, which is really the only thing we like about him to begin with.
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If you are a man and are upset at what Tiger did you are probably gay. I would have helped create several new deadly STDs by now if I was that fucking guy.
Tiger Woods can hit a little white ball really well. That’s all. He’s not a funny guy, or a charismatic guy, or a hero, or a guy that beat adversity. He’s not charming or witty. Hell, he’s boring as shit to listen to during interviews. You take away all his money and fame and I’m betting you don’t want to really get stuck talking to a guy like him at a party. But he wins…a lot. That’s the ONLY reason we ever gave a shit about this guy. The second he starts winning again, this all goes away.
@Dimpie: I wouldn’t say that I’m “upset,” but if you’re not man enough take the commitment of marriage seriously, you shouldn’t say the vows. Nobody held a shotgun to Tiger’s back and forced him to get married. You don’t see anybody bitching about the parade of top-quality trim that regularly makes the walk of shame from George Clooney or Derek Jeter’s house, because those guys are bachelors, and that’s exactly what anyone would (and should) expect of men in their situation. Tiger is different, and is being treated differently, because he’s married and has a family to raise. And also because he’s black.
I’m disappointed at the fact that he “allegedly” chose to sleep with gutter trolls when he had a smoking hot wife at home. Now I’m not married and even though my relationship with my girlfriend has passed the one year mark, I still don’t have a clue what married life is like or what it means to seriously commit to someone. But I’d like to think that if I was going to cheat on my gf, that I’d pick someone that was more attractive than her, not drastically less attractive.
Sure Rachel Uchitel is hot in the technical sense(big fake titties and a hard body) but she’s a bit of a butterface and has obviously had surgery to hold it together…and she’s the hottest one of the alleged group of sluts. The rest of them are rather pedestrian when you compare them to your average attractive women and none of them even come close to level that Elin Nordegren is. I guarantee that if I was to walk into the mall, I could pick out 10 hotter women than the list of ho’s that he’s allegedly been fucking. I’ve seen hotter women at Batta Bing’s in Vegas at 2 in the afternoon. You’d think if he was going to risk hundreds of millions of dollars and his reputation, that he could’ve done better and that’s what disappoints me the most.
Can we please stop talking about this? Punte is starting to sound like Perez Hilton.
Zack and Dimpie, you guys are right. Myself still being in the stage of trying to score with any chick that will let me poke it, I have no concept of what marriage is about. I do like to think that I will be a faithful husband, but who knows.
Agreed, Biggie. The caliber of whores he was messing with was sub-par at best (I had to do it). My guess is that he feels like the skankier the chick the less likely she is to squeal? Not to mention that they would be more likely to indulge him in whatever “alleged” weird shit he was into… I hope not Osi weird!