11.20.09 POWER RANKINGS: MERCY FOX

Power Rankings are ridiculously redundant. Except when we do them. Then, they kick ass.
SITE NEWS: Weekend Picks will run tomorrow. On the weekend. Figure that one out. Stick around for tonight’s musical guest.

1. Megan Fox. Oh, Megan. Just remember that we never cared about your acting ability. Just your bangin’ hot bod. Thanks, @flubby.

2. Drugs. Nobody every pitched a no-hitter on milk.

3. Topless guy getting punched by another, angrier topless guy. I don’t know how this game works, but I’m pretty sure the chubby guy lost.

4. New Mexico women’s soccer player Elizabeth Lambert. Not really into the rough stuff, apparently. Sigh.

5. The Terrifying Stylings Of Al Roker. This is the first time I realized that Al Roker was actually black. Black and round. I can get away with that; I have a lot of round friends.

6. The NFL Arrest and Citation Database. Arrests and citations are our bidness. And BIDNESS. IS. OOODD.

7. Due Process. Even if some jagoff cop arrests you for something you did in a photo on Facebook, go to trial. Don’t let the state walk on you and let them pass off dicking around online as “police work.”

8. Friday Night Chick Fights. It’s the sexier side of MMA.

9. Stefanie Spielman. Rest in peace, homegirl.

10. UGA VII. Screw you. You’re just a dog.