From the desk of Why Does Anyone Ever Get Married In This Country Anymore: Jim Nantz will be shelling out almost a million dollars a year in alimony for the rest of his life, or until his ex remarries. Like I said: the rest of his life.

Nantz must pay $72,000 a month in alimony until either he dies or his ex-wife remarries, and another $1,000 week in child support for their 15-year-old daughter, Caroline, for the next two years.

Lorrie Nantz [pictured] will get the six-bedroom home in Westport the couple shared. –Boston Herald, via So Yoked.

I realize that there are a pockets of the gay community right now that are hoping to get these state-sanctioned bans repealed, and all I can say is: good luck. You have no idea what you’re in for. When Jim Nantz sneaks out to bang a 29-year-old, it’s a national travesty. But when it happens among same-sex couples, it’s called “Thursday.”