Power Rankings are pointless and stupid. Except when we do them. Then, they kick ass.

1. Anvil Launching. Quite awesome, actually. And quite a masculine outlet for the guy named Gay Wilkinson, who happens to be a champion in this sort of endeavor. You go, Gay!

2. PUNTE’s effortless bojangling. I appeared as a guest on Dan Levy’s “On The DL” Podcast today, and also contributed to Washington Post’s “The League” NFL blog. No wonder I’m so tired. And of course, if you have no life, you can follow me on Twitter.

3. Bacon. Canadian bacon is just like American bacon! Sort of…

4. Brooke Hundley. Somehow this girl became ESPN’s Monica Lewinsky.

5. Josh McDaniels’ football card. I’m no expert, but 3500 percent sounds like a pretty nice ROI.

6. Jewish Dogs? Come on, guys. That‘s not kosher.

7. Snorting coke in front of the President. I think David Cross just blew himself.

8. Shoe contracts. I could care less what Marcus Jordan wears, but I love the quandry.

9. Maury Povich. *Opens envelope* You ARE made entirely of cotton!

10. Drinking pee. Let’s hope it’s just a fad.