Ouch. That did not look like it felt too good. No doubt the poor, portly fellow felt pretty embarrassed laying there on the concrete looking like a beached Beluga. This is why fat people shouldn’t leave their homes except to go to Old Country Buffet. I wouldn’t be surprised if the next time this guy willingly gets on something with four wheels is when Maury Povich sends a camera crew and they have to rip off a side of his house and hoist him out of his bed with a Bobcat.

And the splits? Yikes. I wasn’t even aware of the fact that fat people could bend that way. How fitting it would have been if a James Brown song had been added for background music.

“Say it loud, I’m fat and on the ground. HEYYYYY!!”

Or alternatively,

“Get up, (get on up)
Get up, (get on up)
Stay on the scene, like an eating machine”

I suppose that would make him the Godfather Of Roll.