09.16.09 WORST. CONTRACT. EVER.

People are tripping over themselves to laugh at the contract that sixth-overall pick Andre Smith signed with the Bengals last week. Smith, who held himself out of training camp only to injure his foot on the first day of practice, apparently is as discriminate with his reputation as he is with his diet.

Smith essentially signed what is really a six-year contract (don’t believe the four-year claim, the team can easily buy the last two years) worth an expected value of $42 million, assuming he hits all the normal thresholds. If Smith hits all the “Superman” clauses in the contract (he basically has to go to the Pro Bowl and Cincinnati has to get to the playoffs every year), he can make a maximum of $50 million.

Now, compare that deal to what quarterback Mark Sanchez(notes) got from the New York Jets at No. 5 and what wide receiver Darrius Heyward-Bey(notes) got from the Oakland Raiders at No. 7. Sanchez signed a five-year deal in which he will make $47.5 million if he hits the normal thresholds and can max out at $60 million. via.

Additionally, Hayward-Bey can make up to $38.5 million on his five-year deal. Andre Smith’s pro career is not off to the start that he could have hoped. Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, son. He’s playing for the Bengals. If he’s not drunk now, he will be…