Power Rankings are just weekday filler. Except when we do them. Then, they kick ass.

1. Redheads. There’s something about a woman’s head that appears to be on fire. Wait, that totally came out wrong.

2. Miami Dolphins Cheerleaders. We might have to start playing football games on the beach.

3. Blood in the Octagon. It took a vagina-sized cut to a dude’s forehead to save the premiere of The Ultimate Fighter. But blood is like ice cream to me…sort of.

4. Suzy Kolber’s Closing Speed. However, she loses points for field awareness. If your main guy is unavailable, you gotta check down to your second or third option.

5. Keeping the foul ball. Don’t blame the kids. Kids don’t know any better. Blame the parents.

6. Joe McKnight. Even here at No. 6, the Southern Cal tailback continues to be slighted.

7. Serena Williams. Serena, I’m really happy for you, and I’mma let you finish, but John McEnroe had one of the greatest on-court tantrums of all time…

8. Mike Tunison’s Book. Have you bought The Football Fan’s Manifesto yet? You really should.

9. Bacon. It’s a meat. It fights cancer. That’s versatility, yo.

10. CUBED. Rest in peace, poorly-conceived corporate attempt at a viral video.