There are little guys that run fast, and there’s Kenyon Blue, the 5-foot-7-inch running back from Idaho State. And I don’t want to say that dude is fast, but he probably flips the light switch every night and then gets into bed before the room even gets dark. Here’s his highlight reel, and it’s obvious that even he hasn’t been able to control. I think this is how it would feel to drive a motorcycle inside a shopping mall, which is really the only life aspiration I’ve ever had. Well, that and to bang Soleil Moon Fryre. Baby steps, I suppose.

Update: As one of you beautiful people pointed out, yeah, Blue is currently out of the game. There’s always the UFL.