Power rankings happen every Friday. And then I bet on sports and then leave and get drunk somewhere. img, via.

1. Adriana Fonseca.This Mexican actress can crawl under my fence any time. Just because I don’t have a fence doesn’t mean it has to be a euphemism…

2. Lawnmowers. One did what Michigan couldn’t two years ago.

3. Barbarella. I’m glad that we’ll soon be getting a version without Jane Fonda in it. Less camp never hurts, either.

4. Rob Dibble’s ass tattoo in honor of Ichiro. It’s a cautionary tale and a terrific read.

5. The life of John Hughes. I think I speak for everyone when I say, “BWAAAOWWW, BWAAAOWWW! HEH-HEH-HEH-HEY! BWAAAOWWW, BWAAAOWWW! OOOOOOOOO-OO-OOOOOOHHH!”

6. Bacon, served covered in chocolate, on a stick. Yes, please.

7. The “anniversary” of the bombing of Hiroshima. I don’t understand why anyone would protest this; it’s exactly how the dinosaurs died.

8. Pete Rose puns. Just shut it already. Rose is out, and it’ll take a lot more than Hank Aaron’s whining to get him back in.

9. Shawne Merriman’s haircut. It is blue and it is badass.

10. “The Shack.” Seriously? You paid money to come up with that?