08.26.09 MINOR LEAGUE TEAM SNIPS ‘TEBOW NIGHT’

Tim Tebow is doing for circumcisions what washout anchor Katie Couric did for colonoscopy exams back in 2003. Suddenly I feel inferior for possessing a less aerodynamic foreskin, so I’ll have to get something done eventually. I’d imagine it’s just like going into a barber shop; I’ll just flop into the chair and ask for a little bit off the top. I’m sure the Fort Myers Miracle, the Class-A affiliate for the Minnesota Twins, thought the same thing when they sought clearance to have a live circumcision on the field in front of God and everyone. Naturally, the brass balked at the notion.

Some of the approved festivities on the slate for tonight:

*Free promise rings for everyone entering the stadium.

*First pitch will be a “jump pass.”

*Team manager and gameday staff will deal with problems by asking themselves “What Would Tebow Do?”

*Guy named “Tim Tebow” (not THAT Tim Tebow) will try to walk on some water. via.

But yeah, no penile surgery for that hungry Florida crowd. In order to make up for it, the Miracle are working toward a deal on the concessions: all hot dogs will be half off. I’ll show myself out. first seen here.