Some guy at the Washington Post must have been having a slow day earlier this week and wrote up a column dealing with the Mystics, that city’s WNBA team. Hey, we know all about slow days (roll back to the last four posts and see), but Mike Wise scribbled something up about America’s favorite abuse of the giant video scoreboard, Kiss Cam, simply pointing out that the Mystics don’t do it, and then painting its omission as oppressive to the gay community. We say “gay community” now instead of just saying “the gays.” It sounds nicer.

Look, I’ve never been to a WNBA game and I don’t really care what they do in their own arena. The Washington Mystics are selling basketball, not human rights. That league has really painted itself into a corner by trying to incorporate as much Girl Power under one roof as it can. The WNBA is selling female empowerment, which could mean one thing to a 10-year-old girl that sucks at math, and could mean something completely different to the couple that’s tired of being stared at in restaurants. But that doesn’t mean that “we have a lot of kids” line works with me. Anyone speaking for the team should be able to discuss the issue without hiding behind the Bible, or someone else’s children.

But yeah, people are bent out of shape because they’re being deprived of the opportunity to watch women make out. It’s called “the internet,” people. Do I have to explain everything to you?