07.13.09 I FIND THE ALL-STAR BREAK IRRITATING
SITE NEWS: I’ll be on Walkoff Walk tonight as a guest live-blogger for the Home Run Derby Tonight. That starts at…8? Let’s say 8.
Nobody wants to play in it. Nobody wants to watch it. Nobody’s happy with which players made the team and which didn’t. And the jerseys they make for this thing are uglier than any shirt Chris Berman has ever worn on the golf course. Wouldn’t the whole mission of an All-Star Break be better suited if…there was an actual break? No? All right, then allow me to offer the following alternatives to make these three days more fun for everyone.
ASYLUM POLL: Do you care about the MLB All-Star Game?
1. Make it an international game. Take one MLB team and pit it against one of Japan’s Nippon League teams, who typically have their All-Star game around the same time of year. Make it an MLB team that either made or narrowly missed the playoffs the previous year. If Japan wins, then we hold all seven games of the World Series in Japan.
2. Make it a money game. ESPN anchor and noted otter owner John Buccigross had this idea for the NHL: Dump 15 million dollars on the field behind home plate and say, “Come and get it. Winners take all.” Play with 25-man rosters and the AL and NL coaching staffs that lost their respective championship games the previous year. Fill the teams like unions do–based on seniority. You don’t want to play? Fine. Give another guy a crack at the cash.
3. Play Flag Football instead. Football’s more awesome than baseball anyway. And yet softball is more awesome than football. Maybe they should play softball. With a big keg of Bud Light right next to the pitcher’s mound. Bud Light probably has a better ERA than Tim Wakefield, anyway.
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There are 9 comments about:
I FIND THE ALL-STAR BREAK IRRITATING
I propose a lingerie baseball game ala the Lingerie Bowl they play at half time of the Super Bowl. Think of the possibilities with those bats.
Very nice Panda placement sir.
4. Play the game in East St. Louis
Yeah, you can hit a baseball. But can you hit a bullet?
I’m all for the girls in lingerie playing in piles of cash with Japan’s Nipple leagues and beer on the field…
/really didn’t read post and comments too well.
better yet, have the two teams put up their own money. Pete Rose taking out Ray Fosse’s career makes a hell of a lot more sense when you know Rose had money on the game.
Next thing you know, they’ll try to make the All Star Game relevant by letting the league who wins this exhibition take Home Field Advantage in the World Series.
Irritating is an understatement. What am I supposed to do in lieu of Monday (and Wednesday, for that matter) Night Baseball? Talk to my boyfriend? I feel gypped, somehow.
I find it impossible to discern a “break” from the standard fare in the MLB season.
4. Scour the Negro Leagues for talent. Play them.
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