07.10.09 HEATHER NICHOLS: NOT A FAN OF DRY-HUMPING

But then who is? That said, this incident with Heather Nichols and Quentin “Rampage” Jackson doesn’t resemble teenage denim-on-denim angst as much as it looks like a labradoodle in heat. Dude, this isn’t Vietnam. There are rules for this sort of thing. And Nichols, shockingly, was unimpressed with Jackson’s dearth of decorum. From SI’s Jimmy Trainia:

I decided to keep asking questions, assuming he would stop if I did that. So I asked another question, and he kept going. I asked ANOTHER question, and he kept going. At this point I was just freaking out, but still trying to be a professional and ask all the questions I was assigned to ask, and this has been interpreted by some viewers as me liking it and egging him on. This was definitely not the case. I was hired to do a job, which was to interview Rampage, so I decided to put up with his shenanigans and finish the interview.

Yeah, just because she didn’t kick him in the junk on site doesn’t mean that she was into it. Besides, Heather seems like the kind of girl that would wait a few weeks and then burn his house down. She just has that look of crazy in her eye, like she could kill you in your sleep just using everyday household items. And I applaud that. Innovation is what makes America great. That and our willingness to kill people that interfere with achieving our dreams.