The Last Great American Hero prevailed. Again.
Joey Chestnut won the renowned wiener munch-a-rama contest at Coney Island for the third straight year on Saturday, eating a world-record 68 hot dogs in the allotted ten minutes. From the NY Daily News (emphasis added):
The 25-year-old, 218-pound champ maintained a comfortable two-dog lead over his archrival, six-time titleholder Takeru (Tsunami) Kobayashi, for most of the bout. He’d already downed 23 dogs two minutes after the clock started.
“After the second minute I knew my body was cooperating,” Chestnut said.
Chestnut’s rival, Takeru Kobayashi managed to put down 64, and it wasn’t ten years ago when eating 20 dogs, “doing the deuce,” was a big deal. Sonya “The Black Widow” Thomas won the women’s title after eating 41 dogs. Wait, there’s a women’s title?! It’s not like she has to dunk or run fast or do long division; why do women get their own title? It’s not like it matters; after that competition, I’m sure everyone was putting the seat down anyway.
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I always thought women and gay guys would have a distinct advantage in a hot dog eating contest.
And I’m proud to be an American, where at least I know I can eat 7 hot dogs per minute and be considered a hero.
Meanwhile, I, Delmon Young, posted the North American record for most ESPN radio refrences as the most horseshit player in Major League baseball. HOORAY FOR MY INABILITY TO BE ATHLETIC!
When your name is Delmon then it’s clear you suck.
“Eats 68 Dogs In 10 Minutes” takes on a whole other connotation during Korean eating competitions.
I want the over on number of toilets that got the backs blown off 20 minutes after they were done.
Also, I thought “black widow” was a pool shark nickname, shouldn’t they really just call her Fatty McFatterson?
I ate two hot dogs during this competition but that’s only because my neighbors were gone and all I had left were my roommates.
Do they have good fingers?
Mrs. Parker, I believe there’s a Black Widow in any sport where Asian women are allowed to compete. There’s probably a Black Widow in the WNBA but nobody knows because nobody watches.
I suppose that makes Mechelle McNair the Black Widow of the NFL.
I could do that.