Hey everybody, Josh had to catch a flight so I’ve got this weekend’s picks.  I’m not enough of a degenerate gambler to pick against the spreads, so I’m pussin’ out and picking outright winners.

THE FIELD over Tiger Woods — Despite his amazing putt and chip to beat Kenny Perry and Jack Nicklaus at a skins game this week, Tiger shot a season-worst 74 in the second round at the Memorial, TWO WHOLE STROKES OVER PAR.  Man, does he suck at golf or what?

RED WINGS over Penguins (Game 5, Saturday) — The Wings should bounce back in their return to their octopussied home ice.  Also, it’s a knee-jerk reaction to root against Pittsburgh.  I’ve got nothing against the Pirates, however.

Magic over LAKERS (Game 2, Sunday) — Orlando suffered from the biggest case of sports stage fright I’ve ever seen last night.  Kobe probably won’t be that hot again, and there’s no way everyone on Orlando can suck that hard again.  Besides, the Magic have been better away than at home during these playoffs.

RAIN over Baseball — Don’t count on seeing too many games played on the East Coast this weekend.  Although if the sun breaks through the clouds in D.C., you should take the opportunity to bet against the Nats.  All the cool kids are doing it (and making money, too).

MORE MEGAN FOX PICTURES over Fewer Megan Fox Pictures — Anyone else, and I might get tired of seeing new photo shoots of her.  Like this one for British GQ.

Thanks for letting me play on my old playground, guys. The police usually don’t let me near the other ones.  Have a great weekend, and be sure to check back in this weekend in case of bonus posts.  Hey, it’s happened before.