I feel compelled to revisit Andy Roddick’s ouster in the French Open from yesterday; apparently “ouster” can not only refer to one’s removal or ejection, but also refer to the one doing the freaking ousting! How cool is that? Anyway, Roddick threw a fit like someone just told him there wouldn’t be any ponies at his birthday party in the middle of his evening match with Frenchman1 Gael Monfils.

Roddick complained about darkness setting in, and let’s be fair, when you’re banging Brooklyn Decker, there’s only so many things in life you can actually complain about. From Y! Sports:

“I’m having trouble seeing the ball,” [Roddick] told the umpire. “When we started what did the sky look like? Now look up to the sky and tell me what’s changed.”

The American former world number one gifted Monfils the first set with a service return into the net and lost the second after squandering three break points in the eighth game.

After querying the light situation again, Roddick slammed his racket down in anger during the changeover at 3-2 in the third, drawing boos from the partisan crowd.

I don’t give a rat’s can about Roddick or his rumored habit of always peeing sitting down or what he does with his life. I’m just really irritated that this has become the face of American tennis: some jagoff MacEnroe wannabe without the mental fortitude to win the big majors abroad. And he stole his nickname from a gay baseball player2! Monfils played in the same damn conditions he did, and did he cry to the umpire? Did he hit every other drop shot into the net? Hell, no. I guess those arrogant French clouds were too much for poor Andy to handle. Try speaking the language next time, or, better yet, not speaking at all.

1 Not really French, because he’s black.
2 Not really gay. As far as we know…Heyyy!