You know why everyone gets bent out of shape over power rankings? Because they always suck, without fail. Except when we do them. Then they kick ass.

1. Torrie Wilson. The WWE Diva survived Week 1 of “I’m A Celebrity… Get Me Out Of Here!” I’m looking forward to the spinoff, “I’m Stuck At Home With Nothing To Watch! Shoot Me In The Face Already!”

2. The bulls. Once those bulls learn how to shoot rifles, it’s all over for those pesky Spaniards.

3. Sorana Cirstea. Doubly amazing when you consider how terrible most women look in white.

4. The Hoop Doctors Interview Jinx. You heard it here first.

5. NCAA’s upcoming Sand Volleyball. That means more of this…

6. Gael Monfils. A solid week for the Frenchman, who acted more manly than some; I admit I would have been more interested in the French Open if he would have made it passed Federer.

7. Pandas. This made me a little sad. I don’t get the message at the end, either. Someday the pandas will be free and make their own Youtube clips and sort out this whole mess.

8. Justine Bateman. Sha-la-la-laaaaaa.

9. Bacon. Enjoy it in jerky form! Finally that delicious bacon experience for the man on the go.

10. Twitter. The only place ever where Jenn Sterger could be less annoying than Drew Rosenhaus.