06.26.09 POWER RANKINGS: THE DUMPLING WAR RAGES ON

Power rankings are pointless, fruitless, and hopeless. Except when we do them. Then they kick ass.

1. Teenage freakouts. You saw the World of Warcraft kid. Now meet Dumpling Girl. Seriously, if you’ve ever had siblings, you can probably relate. Here’s another. Many thanks, Justin.

2. LEGO scenes depicting the conflict in Darfur. Simply amazing.

3. The late Ed Thomas of Aplington-Parkersburg High School in Iowa. Didn’t have a great place to mention this during the week, but his is a story worth reading.

4. Kim Kardashian (right) . Really? That’s Kim? She probably throws a better spiral than Eli does. Probably benches more, too.

5. Guest posting. Here’s Ufford on EDSBS. He talks about booze and the proper way to slap a child in the face.

6. Splenda. I’ve been drinking coffee for three days with real sugar. So nasty, even if it’s not chlorinated. I really prefer my skim and sweetener with just a little coffee in it. Because I’m a big sissy, see.

7. The rumors of Phil Collins‘ death. I’m still not convinced that he’s still alive. He’s like Jimmy Hoffa, only British and not into unions, but despised by the American government all the same. How crazy a week would this be if Ed McMahon, Farrah, Michael, and Phil Collins all died. That probably would feel like 9/11.

8. Michael Jackson’s influence in Japan. Eh, it’s a reach.

9. Bacon. Farewell, Mr. Weiner!

10. Joanna Krupa. Thanks for showing America what a dick Terrell Owens really is.