It’s an Isiah Thomas-Fatso mashup, and that’s really all you need to know. Unless you didn’t know that Fatso was the name of the late Keyboard Cat, who is probably rubbing cat hair all over the freshly creased pants of Billy Mays as he walks through the pearly gates. I know that some of you don’t believe in Heaven, but if it makes you feel any better, I don’t think it exists in the way it’s constantly been portrayed. It’s probably just five Swedish girls huddled around a Playstation 3. That’s it. And hell is just being stuck in one of those changing rooms at a department store, trying on pants for all eternity.

|Hardwood Paroxysm|