Each week we pick the winners of the weekend’s most intellectually voluptuous matchups. And we’ve been fairly proficient of late. Home team in ALL CAPS. If you’re feeling lucky, you can follow my picks under my real name here.

TONIGHT: Cardinals (+1.5) over NATIONALS. Uh, yes please. The Nationals are my favorite kind of terrible team–lots of power hitters and no pitching. That’s why I also took the over (9.5).

Hawks (+5) over HEAT. Dwyane Wade is the Shawn Michaels of the NBA–a prefabricated superstar that got every break imaginable when there was no genuine standout in his league. Now with an awesome Celtics-Bulls series and the Lakers and Cavs representing true box office power for the league, it’s time for the Heat to go.

Roger Federer (even) over Novak Djokovic. The Rome Masters semi-final matchup will be played on clay, with the winner likely facing Rafael Nadal (which I can’t find on the board).

I Want Revenge over FIELD. He’s the favorite. I know nothing about horses.

Pacquiao over Hatton. Because Hatton is not as good…You can’t get analysis like this anywhere else.

Sunday: Bulls over CELTICS. Up yours, Mr. Simmons.

Thanks to everyone that read, contributed tips and commented this week. We’ll do it again Monday.