Whenever blogs do Power Rankings, they’re just repetitive, boring, and stupid. Except when we do them. Then they kick ass.
1. Keyboard Cat. Cats and treadmills maintain their stranglehold on the PR top spot.
2. The Fighting Flickertails. “Flickertails” was the mascot for the University of North Dakota before switching to the Fighting Sioux in 1930. With the current mascot under fire from Native American advocate group, the timing is perfect for a flickertail revival.
3. Profanity-laced rants. Wally Backman, don’t you go changin’.
4. “Ochocinco.” Chad Johnson reinvents the archetype of the American Dumbass yet again. This time, with botched paperwork.
5. Impressions. There’s nothing worse than an impression that sounds nothing like the actual person. Unless it’s announcing a horse race.
6. Horrible covers. Covering White Stripes is never a good idea. But this…
7. Pessimism over David Ortiz. Burn, Papi, burn!
8. The upcoming fall of the house of Paulus. Happening, ironically, this upcoming fall.
9. Pope Dog The First. He loves the Lord’s word. Just don’t leave him alone with the altar puppies.
10. Boobies. Joakim Noah has them.