05.14.09 PLEASE DO NOT MURDER SHAWN ANDREWS

Philadelphia Eagles offensive lineman Shawn Andrews suffered from depression after the birth of his son, JaShawn. Andrews says his condition was one of the reasons that…no, seriously, the kid’s name is “JaShawn.” I double-checked. I wonder if he’s of any relation to recording artist “Ja Rule.” Or if the kid likes to take in a game of “ja alai.” Or if he’s a big reader of J.A. Adante. Whatever. Let’s get to the part where someone tried to kill the guy…

“I bought a whole bunch of things that I thought were going to boost who I really was, make people like me more, try to impress people versus being smart,” Andrews said.

Others began treating him differently, he said. Before his rookie season, he said that one longtime Arkansas friend asked him, “How much are you worth?” Then the friend asked for help in paying child support, rent and a car loan. After he declined, Andrews said, the friend invited him to a deer-hunting camp. Another friend later warned that he was being set up to be shot in what would look like a hunting accident, Andrews said.

The story could not be independently verified.

I’ve always thought of people-hunting as far more humane than deer-hunting, and I’ll continue to do so until deer get better at handling rifles. But I love the alleged mentality of a guy that asked for rent, child support help and a car loan. It’s impressive how ambitious people can be when it doesn’t involve effort.

|Fifth Down, via Sporting Blog|