ESPN’s college football analyst Lee Corso is expected to fully recover from a minor stroke he suffered while trying out his new sex swing in his Gainesville-area home. No, it doesn’t say that in the press release. It doesn’t say anything, so I took an educated guess.
“This is just a small bump in the road,” Corso said in a statement issued by ESPN. “A ‘not so fast, my friend’ in my game of life. I look forward to making a full recovery and returning to ESPN for my 23rd season analyzing the greatest sport in the world — college football.”
Somehow Corso’s outlandish antics don’t bother me, and I don’t know if it’s because his style is better suited toward a college-aged audience or because the former USFL head coach is balanced out by level-headed analysis from Kirk Herbstreit (provided it’s not a Big Ten game being discussed). I’d say college football wouldn’t be the same without him, but that’s just one of those lies you’d say about someone just to make them feel better. It’s Friday and he’ll have no lasting damage from the stroke; if that doesn’t make him happy, that’s his problem.
Thirteen-year-old Kavya Shivashankar of Kansas (pictured from 2008) won the 82nd annual Scripps National Spelling Bee, which aired on prime-time TV for the fourth straight year. Kavya locked down her first place finish when she correctly spelled…wait, Kansas? We’re sure that she’s from Kansas? I mean, I thought “Shivashankar” had Rust Belt written all over it. Kavya’s technique of drawing out etymological clues from the judges and “writing” the word on her hand drew jeers from the KSK Live Blog, who joked that Kavya should not be allowed to collect her $40,000 in cash and prizes until she successfully spells her own name. From The Journal:
Ms. Shivashankar was making her fourth appearance at the bee, having finished 10th, eighth and fourth over the last three years. She enjoys playing the violin, bicycling, swimming and learning Indian classical dance, and her role model is Nupur Lala, the 1999 champion featured in the documentary “Spellbound.”
Second place went to 12-year-old Tim Ruiter of Centreville, Va., the only non-teenager in the finals. He misspelled “maecenas,” which means a cultural benefactor.
In grown-up stuff, the Cleveland Cavaliers pulled within one game in their series with Orlando with a 112-102 win last night in Ohio. The Magic were down by 22 at one point, but LeBron’s 17 points in the 4th led the way for a not-so-dramatic finish. Game 6 will be Saturday in Orlando.
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Here’s your tennis post for May: Romania’s Simona Haley (pictured) is giving serious consideration about trimming down her two best friends (uh, also pictured) with breast reduction surgery. From Total Pro Sports (thanks, Drew):
Earlier this month in an interview with the Romanian site ProSport, Simona Halep stated her wishes to have breast reduction surgery. Upon explaining her reasoning behind such a decision, she pointed to the added weight and difficulty in carrying her jugs over to every ball that gets hit her way.
It’s worth pointing out here that Halep won’t turn 18 until September 27th, and that discussion of her breasts should be done behind closed doors and out of Chris Hansen’s phone wire-tapping network. But now Deadspin is reminding everyone that the interview could have been a mistranslation and ALL HOPE IS NOT LOST! Whatever. Looks like you clowns have a few months to brush up on your Romanian.
Here’s Carlos Zambrano’s epic meltdown in the Cubs game against the Pirates yesterday, and it’s true: you can’t spell “pirate” without “irate.” But what I don’t get is that Zambrano goes to the dugout, grabs a bat, and then starts assaulting the Gatorade machine in the dugout. First of all, that’s badass product placement. But really, what the hell did Gatorade ever do to you? It’s only provided refreshing electrolytes to its consumers since 1965.
No word on how long Zambrano or the drink dispenser will be out of action. But whatever; when you sign for $91 million, you can rip the ivy out of the centerfield wall and weave it into an evening gown if you want. Vegetation makes terrible padding anyway.
|via Hot Clicks|
I can’t believe that we’re just now finally getting to this, but Mike Tyson’s four-year-old daughter apparently died while the former undisputed boxing champion was in Vegas. From People:
“We are grateful for the tremendous outpouring of love and prayers from all over the world,” Tyson says in a statement. “There are no words to describe the tragic loss of our beloved Exodus. We ask you now to please respect our need at this very difficult time for privacy to grieve and try to help each other heal.”
Exodus’s mother, whose name has not been released, was cleaning in another part of the house when she sent her 7-year-old son to the playroom to check on his sister. The boy found Exodus tangled in a cord dangling from a treadmill. He called for his mother, who dialed 911 and administered CPR.
Wow, that 7-year-old boy is a horrible babysitter. “Uh, mom, I just found her like that.” And I love how the mother was “cleaning.” Since when does a mother with two kids not put them to work? This really isn’t the time to be making jokes, though. However, this is the time that you could get a really sweet deal on a treadmill.
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