05.12.09 AMANDA BEARD’S SHOTGUN WEDDING

Amanda Beard jumped back on the radar with a bang–all of a sudden she’s married and five months pregnant. I know! I can’t believe it, either! *screams like a little girl* From MSNBC, via flubby and Maj:

“It was absolutely perfect,” Beard, 27, says of her May 1 wedding to photographer Sacha Brown, 34, on Wakatobi, an archipelago in the Banda Sea off southeastern Indonesia. “It was stress-free, and super low-key.”

The couple said “I do” in a brief sunset ceremony on a private beach at their resort. “I’m starting to look pregnant,” says the newlywed, who cops to major ice cream and Popsicle cravings and, despite exercise, is feeling “a little softer.” She plans to get back in the water about half a year after she gives birth, and is aiming to compete in the 2012 Olympics.

A 16-month layoff? That’ll be a great head start to a DNQ. Oh, and I couldn’t leave this next part out. It just reeks of a woman dependent on her body for income:

So could a water birth be in her future? Not if Beard has anything to say about it. “I’ve heard wonderful things about it,” she says. “But I want to do it the old-fashioned way — in a hospital, with all the technology!”

That’s exactly how I prefer my pizzas, by the way. Here’s an excerpt of Beard with her new groom from…us. The rest are here, but this should get you started. Whatever that means…