04.10.09 POWER RANKINGS: ANOTHER NEW NO. 1

Power Rankings are just an idiot’s cheat sheet for talking about sports. Except when we do them, then they’re a directory of awesomeness.

1. Adriana Lima. Not ugly.

2. The life of Russell Dunham. Godspeed, sir.

3. A Night Out In Cardiff, Wales. This photo gallery’s name sounds like it could be a new indie film, and I only wish it was.

4. Bacon. It’s the secret to a long and healthy life. And strong bones, terrible skin and that wonderful pork smell that comes out through one’s pores.

5. Dara Torres. This is a body done good. Not bad for a gal that turns 42 in five days.

6. Using your real name to try out for Playboy. Smooth move, Carly Hinchman. Hopefully that cheerleading gig at Va. Tech wasn’t a scholarship deal.

7. March Madness Pools. Although, when it comes to Jennifer Baretta, I wouldn’t mind a little March Madness pool.

8. Hedgehogs. THEY’RE GOING TO KILL US ALL!

9. Nicky Whelan. Figures that David Spade would have to go halfway across Earth to pull trim like this.

10. Twitter. Stuck at the bottom until they start making money. And it’s still stupid and almost pointless.