Don Chavez brings us a “behind the scenes” look at the Miami Dolphins cheerleaders, and it made me wonder what these girls do with themselves in the offseason. I’d like to think that they’re secretly raiding the facebook pages of bloggers and discussing them in their own private circles. I suppose if we stand any chance of violating these ladies, we should just let them violate our privacy and hope they reciprocate with interest.

Editor’s Note: This post has nothing to do with sports. We realize that. We don’t care.

Pedo watchdog Brandon shares with us the story of a strip club in Akron, Ohio (The rubber capital of the world! Wokka wokka wokka!) where police raided the place and seized an unusual piece of property–a 14-year-old girl.

Akron police vice officers served a search warrant Friday night at the Playhouse bar. The bar’s owner and manager were charged with illegal use of a minor in a nudity performance and child endangering.

Police Lt. Rick Edwards says officers saw some dancers have contact with customers, but not the 14-year-old. He says the club is not licensed as a sexually oriented business.

The girl was placed in county social services. Hehe, services. I don’t see the problem with recruiting some young talent. I mean, have you seen the women that work in strip clubs? They look like slabs of bacon in big hair and thongs. It’s like the late Johnnie Cochran always said. If she ain’t 18, don’t stick it ‘tween. But then Johnnie Cochran never lived in Akron. They play by their own rules in the Rust Belt. That’s the Rust Belt, right?

|Columbus Dispatch|

Bob Knight appears in this undated news piece for a Dutch-language news outlet, covering one of Knight’s teaching clinics. Prepare to have your mind somewhat blown as Knight becomes the only person on screen that you can actually understand, as he’s the only one speaking English. The fun starts around the 2-minute mark, when the Bob Knight we all know and love makes his presence felt.

After learning that NFL teams were unwilling to take even a 7th-round pick for Michael Vick, the Albany Firebirds of the developmental league arenafootball2 offered Vick a contract. But they were totally kidding as it turns out:

“I’m a dog lover and I don’t want anything to do with (Vick),” Albany Firebirds owner Walter Robb told The Times Union for a story posted on its Web site Tuesday night.

Earlier in the day, the team an arenafootball2 franchise, announced it had offered the 28-year-old quarterback a one-year contract at the league standard: $200 a week plus a $50 bonus for a win.

“That’s a joke,” Robb said. “Can you imagine him playing for $200 a week? I think (the offer) was a big mistake.”

I’m secretly hoping that Vick does catch on with another team, somewhere. I just want to see how he’s treated by the fans, by his teammates, and see if he actually realizes that inhumane handling of animals is much worse than raping women or killing someone with a car under the influence.

|Y! News|

I haven’t read much about this new “swine flu” “epidemic,” (sorry, I have a life) but I was a bit surprised to learn that this particular slice of real life invaded the UEFA Champions League tournament when Arsenal had one of their players quarantined by his own team in fears of a swine flu outbreak. From the monolith:

Vela, 20, was told to stay away from the Gunners’ training session following a visit by some friends from Mexico, where more than 150 deaths have been blamed on the virus.

Mexico is the centre of the outbreak of the disease and Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger said: “It looked to be a massive problem because we were asked yesterday to keep him at home and not get him to the training ground.”

The AP reports that more than 60 cases of the H1N1 virus commonly referred to swine flu have been reported in the US so far. Whatever. This is like anthrax all over again, where everyone goes bananas for a few months but the casualties are barely significant. Kinda like when a 16-year-old girl gets her driver’s license or when Tony Danza puts out a new show. There’s a low supply of Tony Danza vaccine this season. Get yourself immunized early.

Saint Andrew’s Net is WL’s daily link dump. It had no idea that Kal Penn and Sean Penn weren’t related…

• MLB Network’s Matt Vasgersian apparently has retained a new PR firm. This is what happens when people get hit in the neck with baseballs
  |Kissing Suzy Kolber|
• Kobe Bryant has been unstoppable in these NBA playoffs…almost
  |The Hoop Doctors|
• The Jets’ Matt Slauson is terrifying in a fun sort of way
  |Legend Of Cecilio Guante|
• The Sporting Blog’s maestro Chris Mottram found himself another job. Sadly, he’s still related to Jamie
  |Mister Irrelevant|
• You asked for it, you got it. More ugly athletes!
  |Hail Mary Jane|
• Remember Miss Teen America pageant contestant Lauren Upton? She looks so much smarter when she doesn’t talk
  |Cheekopek|

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