Power rankings normally blow, but when we do them, they kick ass.

1. The new WL Panda meme. Playful, yet perverted. Just like you.

2. Lindsay’s Soto’s breasts. And what a dynamic duo they are.

3. The Song Girls. Do they sing? Not really. Do we care? Not really.

4. Samurai. Especially when they’re barely legal and in bikinis.

5. Carlie Christine. That cheerleading coach that got fired is now Playboy’s Cyber Huer Of The Month. See, dad? It was totally worth it!

6. Eyebrow tweezers. DO NOT WANT!

6 (tie). Kyle Maynard. The handless, footless MMA wonder fights tomorrow night. Will they affix the octogan with an access ramp?

8. The Death Of The American Automobile. Rest in pieces, Pontiac.

9. Drew Carey. Just what the world needs, another dirty stinkin’ Drew.

10. Uniform “redesigns.” The Jaguars and Lions did not bring us change we could believe in, but their merchandise sales should get a nice boost. Because everyone loves expensive crap during a recession.