We’ll get to the NFL draft shortly, but first we need to recap the weekend of one Kyle Maynard, that congenital amputee and former high school wrestler that made his amateur MMA debut last weekend at some horse barn in Auburn, Alabama. Maynard’s opponent, Brian Fry of Wisconsin, used his obvious advantage in striking range to keep Maynard from executing his ground game, but seemed content to not beat the life from Maynard’s body. From AJC:
By the second round, Maynard was visibly frustrated, and growing tired, while each time he put his head down and charged on all fours he was turned away or sidestepped. He was physically unable to grab and had no other answer for chopping down Fry. Maynard was the bowling ball, but the pin was always moving.
“I was … amazed. I didn’t know he was that quick,” Fry said. Still, he was able to stick to his strategy, even as the crowd, estimated at just less than 1,000, began chanting at him, “Wrestle, wrestle, wrestle.”
It sounds rather obvious that Fry had no intention of taking a real fight to Maynard, and yet it will certainly take a beatdown that savage for Maynard to pull himself out of the MMA game. It’s too bad Maynard didn’t want to be a swimmer; at least that way if he died, all you could blame is the guy that filled the pool.
|as first seen on Deadspin| SEXY UPDATE: Watch video of the match (via Cage Potato) after the jump.


“It sounds rather obvious that Fry had no intention of taking a real fight to Maynard”
What’s a real fight when you’re fighting a stump? I’m fine with people going after their dreams but seriously dude, you’re a fucking amputee…you can’t overcome any obsticle you want. Here, I’m going to drop this pen, grab it before it hits the ground…that’s what I thought.
They should let him use attachments, like a hook or machete. Then we’ll see how tough Fry is.
This has to be the first time that anyone from Wisconsin has won something unrelated to 4H, right?
Not cool, dude. My dad fills pools and he hasn’t been the same since he worked at Tommy Lee’s house.
dammit Taco, i was going with the Shatner wife joke, but that was better.
Fuck this shit. Throw him in with Wandy.
Im sorry, the image of him “charging” the other guy has me dying.
I’ve been looking at that picture for the last 10 minutes and I’ve come to realize two things:
1) No matter how hard you squint while wearing a singlet, you look like a massive pussy that I could probably tickle into tapping out.
2) These two are gay for each other. Even though they look like brothers, I’m betting singlet boy gets “stumped” in the ass everytime the amp comes home drunk.
So that makes the scoreboard:
Taco Jones: 1
Merk: 555
Lucky for me, my motto is “you’re only as good as your last comment”