The New Orleans Hornets received a historic beatdown at the hands last night when they lost to the Denver Nuggets by 58 points, 121-63. The Hornets’ Chris Paul contributed a paltry four points; Denver was enjoying an 36-15 lead by the end of the first quarter, but New Orleans had no answer, and will face elimination in Game 5 Wednesday. It was the largest playoff victory margin since 1953, when coffee was only a dime and beating your wife was still acceptable in public.

Elsewhere, we should point out that Cleveland and the Lakers have finally wrapped up their first round series, eliminating the Pistons and Jazz, respectively. Our Kobe-LeBron series is that much closer! Tonight, the Celtics resume their struggle with the Chicago Bulls, and the 76ers visit Orlando for their Game 5. Dallas could eliminate the Spurs tonight (oh please, oh please) and the Rockets also could advance with a win over Portland tonight. That game starts at 10 Eastern, which really cuts into my “crack and hos” time, but we’ll see if we can swing it.