One of the most impressive things I ever saw was when a friend of mine built his own potato gun from scratch. He built a firing chamber that he filled with hairspray, which would ignite when he pulled the trigger and…it fired potatoes at random objects at a pant-wetting speed. While not a terribly useful item, a potato gun can lead to a lot of laughs. Especially if a group of guys tried to play baseball with it, for example…

Update: Here’s the Sickpigs conception of A-Rod today — NSFW

If you’re going to sell a book about anyone in sports, it’s imperative that you make that person look like a total asshole. Selena Roberts has taken her cue with the inclusion of new allegations in her soon-to-be-released book about Yankees slugger Alex Rodriguez. I’d give you the title of it, but if it was written by a woman, it’s probably not any good anyway. From the NY Daily News (via Yankees Daily):

A former high school teammate told Roberts the future No.1 MLB draft pick was on steroids and his coach knew it. Another student said the son of coach Rich Hofman admitted he saw Rodriguez use steroids.

Hofman said it was news to him. “Whatever he was doing, he was doing it somewhere else,” he said.

In one shocking disclosure, the book accuses A-Rod of “pitch tipping” when he was with the Rangers - letting a friendly opponent at the plate know which pitch was coming in lopsided games. Rodriguez expected players he helped would do the same for him when he was having an off night and needed to get his batting average up and it wouldn’t affect the outcome of the game.

The pitch-tipping thing blows me away–but who were these “friendly opponents,” anyway? Why out A-Rod and A-Rod alone? It’s accusations like this that make “investigations” in baseball seem like smear campaigns, passed off as cautionary “think of the children” rhetoric that makes everyone think that The Evil Steroid Era In Baseball is coming to an end. Please.

Oh, and Roberts also says A-Rod got gynecomastia in 2005 and everyone started calling him “Bitch Tits.” That’s the kind of baseless defamation I can get behind.

If you have Comcast and you have the NFL Network on your subscription tier, say a little prayer tonight. At 11:59 Eastern Time tonight, Comcast will pull the plug on the NFL Network.

Comcast has asked the National Football League to continue the carriage under terms of the current contract. The NFL has refused and would like Comcast to place the channel on a general-interest tier that does not require viewers to pay the extra $7 a month. About two million people get Comcast’s sports package.

“Comcast wants to carry NFL Network, and we have offered to carry it under the terms of our current affiliation agreement while the litigation that the NFL brought against Comcast continues, but the NFL has not accepted our offer,” Comcast’s Sena Fitzmaurice said in a statement. “We believe our proposed extension is in the best interest of our customers and NFL fans so that they can continue to have the same access to the network that they now enjoy.”

The NFL’s demands on Comcast to make the NFL Network a Channel For The People while maintaining an exclusive relationship with DirecTV for out-of-market games could not be more hypocritical. And with the buzz surrounding the MLB network since it went live in January, the NFL would be hard-pressed to appear more greedy. And I don’t mean High Ticket Prices Greedy, because I get that. I’m talking We’re Gonna Squeeze Every Goddamn Dollar Out Of You That We Can Instead Of Working Toward A Mutually Beneficial Middle Ground Greedy. Even prostitutes are capable of negotiating reasonable terms. But I guess this is why the NFL decided on a commissioner that’s too cheap to even buy an entire suit.

|Philadelphia Enquirer, via GameOn|

MMA Junkie has the poop on DREAM.9, the latest event from the Japan-based mixed martial arts outfit DREAM, which probably stands for something to do with molesting people on a subway. Anyway, the card for DREAM.9 on May 26th will be highlighted by an eight-man Super Hulk tournament, and among the participants is–I kid you not–is one Jose Canseco.

The open-weight tournament, roughly translated as the “World Superman Championship,” will continue later this summer with a semifinal round and a grand finale.

Canseco, meanwhile, makes his MMA debut after an MLB career that concluded with a tell-all book about steroid use in baseball (and a subsequent cold shoulder from the industry). Canseco, who claims to be a decorated martial artist, has been competing in exhibition boxing matches as of late. Former NFL player Vai Sikahema recently defeated Canseco via knockout, and former child actor Danny Bonaduce recently fought him to a majority draw.

Jose’s first round bout will be against Hong Man Choi. That means nothing to me. I just enjoy saying Hong Man Choi. Expect Canseco to attempt a liberation coup of Cuba in 2011 and then maybe a cookbook the year after that. Mark Maguire, conversely, will spend this weekend planting tomato bulbs and complaining under his breath about the wait in the drive-thru at McDonalds. I’m glad I never played baseball.

The blonde in this photo, whose name you can find here, once played varsity volley for Tennessee-Martin, and then eventually transferred to Ball State and played club ball there. Don Chavez found some just-barely-safe-for-work images and assembled them for the good of mankind. You can see my faves here, which are much less suggestive.

Three guys shot a documentary surfing off the largely-uncharted west coast of Ireland, which is kind of amazing, because I thought the only thing you needed to impress girls in Ireland was a full pint glass and a general sense of belligerence. The film, Power of Three, will be released in May. Here’s the trailer.

|Steady Burn|