03.05.09 KURT AND MANNY COULDN’T DO ANY BETTER

Dodgers outfielder Manny Ramirez and Cardinals quarterback Kurt Warner both led their teams to surprising postseason prominence. Both were offered sub-par contracts in the offseason, and while Warner did his best to appear that he was really entertaining an offer from the 49ers, Manny was Manny and entertained himself. And today, both signed with their original teams, for nearly-original money.

Quarterback Kurt Warner agreed to terms on a two-year, $23-million contract with the Arizona Cardinals…The agreement came after he lowered his demands Tuesday. Initially, he had sought to be among the top five paid quarterbacks in the NFL, about $14.5 million a year. But on Tuesday, he told agent Mark Bartelstein to offer Arizona a two-year, $23 million deal. The Cardinals initially had offered two years and $20 million. [AP]

If there was good-natured hubris from Ramírez… it dissipated over the next four months when the market for him sank — just like the price of gas. That was clear Wednesday when Ramírez agreed to a two-year, $45 million contract with the Dodgers, pending a physical. They were the only serious suitor Ramírez’s agent, Scott Boras, ever found. [NY Times]

It’s like when you go on a break with your girlfriend thinking, “I can do better than this,” and then you get out there and nobody really seems interested [Manny] or there’s this one girl who is interested [Kurt], but you’ve already moved in with the other girl and you don’t feel like packing up all your crap and things aren’t really that bad. Must be nice to look around and say, “Hmm, yeah, I guess I’ll take your 23 million.” In closing, relationships are totally pointless unless you’re a prostitute.