03.04.09 HELIO WANTED TO PAY HIS TAXES. HONEST!

Two-time Indy 500 winner and one-time shiteating television dance champ Helio Castroneves is probably not enjoying his federal tax evasion trial that was underway yesterday, but, you know, it’s called a trial for a reason. From SI.com (The SI does not stand for Shiteating Industries, just to be clear):

Defense attorney Roy Black said in an opening statement that the Brazilian driver, a two-time winner of the Indianapolis 500, knows nothing about U.S. tax laws and relied on experts to handle his finances. Black said there was no scheme to hide money from the IRS [Internal Realm of Shiteating --Ed.].

“All his taxes were properly done. They were properly paid,” Black told the 12-person jury. Prosecutor Matt Axelrod disagreed, describing a series of allegedly fraudulent deals dating to 1999 involving a Panamanian corporation created to dodge taxes. Axelrod accused Castroneves’ business manager-sister, Katiucia, and Michigan sports attorney Alan Miller of playing a role in the fraud.

In matters of Government v. Foreigner, I really don’t know who to believe. Unless “Foreigner” is actually the band, in which case WOOOOOOOOO! ROCK ON!

[thanks to Bootlegger Sports for the tip]