03.25.09 ARMSTRONG’S BIKE CRASH – UPDATED
THE SPORTING BLOG is reporting that Armstrong still plans to race in the Giro d’Italia in about a month, even though his collarbone may not be healed by then. Like I said, it was a ridiculous theory.
When we last left Lance Armstrong, he had just been solicited for a hair sample–much to his surprise–by the French anti-doping agency. Such a reaction from the seven-time Tour de France seems curious, especially with the big race only months away. If only there was a way to heroically back out of the race without dealing with the scrutiny of being disqualified. From the DashBot at Deadspin:
Armstrong got caught up in a scrum about 12.5 miles from the finish of the first stage of the “Vuelta of Castilla and Leon” near Baltanas, Spain, yesterday. As the road narrowed, a couple of cyclists in the lead pack crashed, taking Armstrong down with them, breaking his right collarbone and possibly aborting his cycling comeback before it ever really got started. (And the same week Matt Lauer hits a deer on his bike? Spooky.) But why am I telling you this, when 140 characters could do the job just as well?
Look, I admit that I don’t know how these KGB-style doping agencies work, and frankly I don’t think you could swing a baguette in downtown Paris without swiping someone that wouldn’t leak a positive Lance Armstrong test. So I don’t really know if Armstrong missing the race would keep his name clear, not that such a thing ever did Barry Bonds any good. And the theory would be almost too ridiculous to mention, had Nick Tarnowski of On The DL not said nearly the exact same thing this morning. I guess great, paranoid, sleep-deprived minds think alike.
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There are 16 comments about:
ARMSTRONG’S BIKE CRASH – UPDATED
Oh my god Punte, you are an idiot. Of course his name would come out if he failed that test, regardless of whether or not he rides in the Tour De France. You should stop throwing speculative shit like Obama at the Wizards game at the wall hoping something sticks and this blog could get some publicity. as long as you’re around it won’t, you retard
settes, you need a cup of tea and a blow job. Calm down.
I’d have more fun with aids than i would watching the tour de france……..I’ll be in a coma, wake me when tits or head injuries are posted.
Baltanas, Spain will forever be associated with the darker times of cycling in the modern era.
He’ll be fine. Nothing is more therapeutic than an Owen Wilson BJ while he slits his wrists.
Settes – meow, you animal.
Settes agrees with me!
…right?
Urine samples? Blood samples? Hair samples? And now this?
The French aren’t trying to test Armstrong, they’re trying to clone him!
Since the UCI has out of competition testing, crashing out of this race wouldn’t help Armstrong evade a test.
Nice try, though.
And Fist, if you don’t like cycling, why click the link and comment? Now, go back to jerking off to your MMA videos.
OMG!OMG!OMG!OMG!OMG!OMG!OMG!
Punte, what the hell did u do to piss off the Gay French Cyclist Mafia?
(1) backing out of the Tour would not stop the testing of already collected samples nor the announcement of any positive resulting therefrom; (2) a broken collarbone isn’t expected to stop him from riding in the Tour in July nor the Giro before that. So other than lacking any factual support whatsoever – great story!
I dont give a shit about bikes, Punte is so shitty he makes me sign up to comment on his shitty stories
@ carson
I’ll have you know that i finger myself gently while watching them…….
ps- i just gave your mom a hug….lovely woman.
I often break my fucking collarbone if I feel like calling in sick to work.
…uggh…I miss Ufford
Honestly, this would have been a muuuuuch better dramitazation photo:
http://autoworld.files.wordpress.com/2008/06/car-bike-crash-mexico-cnn-img_1.jpg
Once again, nobody cares about cycling.
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