UPDATE: ESPN confirmed it; Calipari is heading to Lexington.

With college basketball’s Final Four finally fortified, attention shifts to the other 343 programs in NCAA Division I, many of which have already begun waiting ’til next year. One program not satisfied with simply waiting was Kentucky, who could barely get Billy Gillispie out the door before putting together a plan to make a home-run hire. Specifically, that plan was a large sack of cash. They called Florida’s Billy Donovan and wafted the smell of old, sweaty money through the phone. Donovan, who already is believed to be the highest-paid coach in the college game, said no.

Memphis’ John Calipari was something of a media darling heading into this tournament–he’s such a great recruiter, he’s really put that program on the map, Memphis would have been a 1-seed had they played in the Big East–such that it almost seemed that ESPN was putting together a pitch for Calipari for anyone who was listening. Kentucky was listening, and their pile of money has seemingly found a home. How much money it actually is depends on who you ask, but it’s assumed that whatever Calipari receives will supplant Donovan as the best earner in his sport.

From CollegeHoopsJournal:

Update, 3:43 p.m. ET: News is now starting to permeate that Memphis has asked permission to speak with Missouri’s Mike Anderson. That’s as much of a surrender outside of a direct quote from anyone that you could ask for right now.

Update: 6:35 p.m. ET: WHAS has reported that Calipari has accepted the job at Kentucky. WLEX has confirmed that report. It’s all over but the press conference.

Press conferences are easier to win, anyway. It’s too bad that you have to blow ass for a few seasons before you can actually have one.

The State Senate of South Carolina heard arguments in the city of Greenville over whether to legalize home poker games and raffles. Yes, raffles are illegal in South Carolina, presumably along with the internet, cable television, and any device that emits artificially light. From the Greenville News:

Two changes have been proposed to the state’s gambling laws. One would make it legal to gamble at home while keeping it against the law to have gambling houses. The other calls for changing the state Constitution to allow nonprofit groups to hold raffles. The state commander of the American Legion said his group’s fundraising ability “has come to a complete halt” since it was told two years ago it couldn’t run raffles anymore.[...]

Other speakers, such as Stan McKinney, said the current law goes to extremes. He said he was arrested a year and a half ago in a friendly poker game and insisted on a trial. The magistrate, he said, told him the charge was too trivial for a trial and dismissed it.

G-Vegas has been a poker battleground for some time, as attested by the Greenville-based Up For Poker blog:
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STOP THE PRESSES!  Put away whatever bullsh-t story you’re reading about the Iraq war or the auto industry bailout, and pay attention to this front-page A1 above-the-fold news: the Tampa Bay Buccaneers held cheerleading tryouts!

It doesn’t matter if you’re a rookie or a three-year veteran… If you want to be a member of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers Cheerleaders, you have to try out.

“They have a little more to lose if when they’ve already been on the team,” Bucs cheerleading coach Sandy Charboneau said. “There’s a lot of competition.”

More than 300 women attended try-outs [this weekend] at the University of South Florida Sun Dome for one of about 30 spots for the 2009-10 squad, Charboneau said. “They’re vying for a small percentage of women that can be in the NFL.”

…and by “NFL” she means “football fans’ twisted erotic fantasies prominently featuring garden vegetables, barbed wire, and motor oil.”  Or is that just me?

(keep clicking through for largest image)

|Full gallery at Tampa Bay Online via Don Chavez|

UPDATE: We moved the video to after the jump. After all, crack kills.

WARNING: This clip features a long-distance, out-of-focus nude guy skating. There aren’t enough naughty bits in here to call it unsafe for your place of business, but here’s a heads-up anyway.

During a stoppage of play in some game in Connecticut, a naked guy wanders onto the ice with nothing other than skates, a big blue goalie stick, and unbridled charisma. Oh, and a hat, which fell off. It’s amazing that he can’t keep his feet but then regroups and makes a nice deke on the goalie on the far side. That’s the thing about hockey players; all you need is heart and a total absence of thought to be successful.
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Outfielder Gary Sheffield will have to hit is 500th home run for some other team. The 40-year-old, who was struggling in spring training, was cut by the Tigers earlier today. But the $14 million on his deal this season was guaranteed, so he’ll get paid anyway.

There’s no indication whether Sheffield would still get his money if he signed with another team, and I’m not knowledgeable enough to make a guess either way. The Detroit Free Press is reporting that Sheff’s first choice would be to play close to home with the Rays.

I can’t think of anyone that I would pay $14 million to never see again, especially when he stands on the cusp of history. Not that hitting 500 home runs is “history.” Bombing Pearl Harbor, curing polio, banging Cindy Crawford. Those are the only things that the sons of history truly remember.

|via GameOn|