Beleaguered MMA fighter War Machine is in the news again. This time it’s not for saying he hopes Barack Obama gets assassinated, or for calling various people “faggot” on his MySpace blog, but for a fight that occurred at a Las Vegas gay club.
[War Machine] was picked up by Las Vegas PD for misdemeanor battery Saturday morning after allegedly getting into a tussle at Krave Nightclub — a place described by one of their reps as “gay … but very straight-friendly.”
Cops tell TMZ security at Krave was escorting War Machine out of the club after a little brouhaha — when he allegedly turned on security and starting punching them. Security made a citizens arrest until Las Vegas PD could show up.
As soon as I saw this, I knew that there was only one place I could go to for the TRUTH, and that is War Machine’s MySpace blog. But I was surprised to learn that it was pictures from a twilight zone camera, not homosexuals, that were the root cause of his troubles that night.
Last night an hour or so into going out I attempted to take a picture with a friend. The person that was taking it kept saying, “Do another one it’s blurry” this happened 4 times. Finally I was like “wtf, lemme see” Each picture was the same. The ENTIRE photo was crystal clear except my face was completely blurred. I mean you could see my neck, my shoulders, the background and he was perfect but yet in EVERY pic my face was totally blurred. It was like some shit out of a horror movie…it gave me a really eerie feeling….I thought I might die that night or something. I should have followed my gut and went home, but I didn’t. So anyway long story short I had a fucking HORRIBLE night. Really, it was beyond horrible. I’m not going to get into details but looking back on the entire night it makes the whole photo thing seem that much weirder. I dunno what it could have been….I almost think it was a ghost, most likely my father, that was sending me a sign. Sounds funny but I’m serious.What else could explain all four of those pics?
“Long story short, that’s why I punched those fags.”
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Maybe your face was all blurry because it was trying to get away from your scary-as-fuckall ear. Seriously, that thing looks like Alomar’s AIDS-ridden ballsack.
Punching a bouncer is a good start, but it’s not truly a rampage until you start running things over with your truck.
/Rampage Jackson
Make sure to be lathered in Vaseline first.
/GSP
(Adopts spooky voice): War Machine, this is your father. The afterlife is a non-stop party and the only thing missing is you. There’s a gun in the bedside table- hurry and join me!
/my good deed for the day
“yada yada yada, I woke up in jail.”
His face reappeared in the picture once George McFly kissed Lorraine.
I guess he is about to have something else blow up on his neck… zing.
That vacant stare is actually a little scary.
As is the super douchey hair.
I never used to believe in ghosts until I drunkenly visited a gay club. I passed out in a toilet cubicle and when i came round i was covered in ectoplasm. My asshole hurt too but that was probably because of the fisting.
+1 Enrico, took the words right out of my mouth…
then put a dick in.
I mean you could see my neck, my shoulders, the background and he was perfect but yet in EVERY pic my face was totally blurred.
Mr. War Machine shares this problem with most gay men, they never feel they’re good enough for the dick they’re with. You’re Perfect too, hunny!
ITALIC FAIL!
why do you have to be so mean, Pauly? It’s probably because i made the ass to mouth joke about your mom yesterday, Right?
Italics is a little on the gay side..
I look forward to his op-ed piece: “Why Do All These Homosexuals Keep Sucking My Cock?”
i got a tussle at a gay bar once…