02.04.09 STEELERS FAN ROBS BANK, FAILS
Yesterday, while the city of Pittsburgh celebrated its Super Bowl win with a parade that last week it couldn’t afford, a man in Steelers garb attempted to rob a local bank. Wait, what? The banks didn’t close for the parade? And I thought that city loved its football team.
The robber, a white man between 6 feet 1 and 6 feet 3 wearing a Steelers jacket with a gold hood and blue jeans… walked up to a teller with a note that read, “I am not joking, give me all of your money; I have a gun.” The teller told police the suspect put his right hand inside his jacket as if he were hiding a gun but no weapon was observed…
He didn’t get far with proceeds… when a dye pack exploded, covering the stolen money and the robber with… red dye — the color of the defeated Arizona Cardinals. The man tossed the money out of his pockets and Pittsburgh detectives recovered all of the cash taken in the robbery.
Listen, I don’t want to use this as evidence that people from Pittsburgh are failures at life. I keep hearing about Pittsburgh’s growing art scene and the thriving medical research community there. So how come I don’t hear about genius doctors going crazy for the Steelers and doing stupid crap? Is it because they’re not idiots? It’s because they’re not idiots, isn’t it?
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There are 13 comments about:
STEELERS FAN ROBS BANK, FAILS
Back?
red dye — the color of the defeated Arizona Cardinals.
Was that the reporter’s attempt at drama? That’s another fail.
I thought Ape had a book deal. Sad.
It must suck living in Pittsburgh
/proud resident of Newark NJ.
Tommy Maddox looks like shit in that photo.
I can’t blame the guy. Pirates season tickets aren’t cheap.
the suspect put his right hand inside his jacket as if he were hiding a gun but no weapon was observed…
…except for this TERRIBLE TOWEL!!!!
Please put fifty thousand Primanti Brothers sandwiches into this bag and apt natural. I have a gub.
Did he smell like pee?
Is Ape that tall?
“I am not joking. By joking, I mean ‘educated.’ Give me all of your money; and by ‘money’, I mean food from your break room. I have a gun. And by ‘gun’, I mean I have a very big sandwich in my jacket. ”
Well, jeez, if this guy needed the money so bad, why didn’t he just apply for a loan, and the bank would surely…..oh, that’s right. He’s from Pittsburgh.
@ cannon - it was actually a terrible sham-wow. Actually, that dude does look like a fat version of Vince.
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