SOMEONE MUST STOP ASHTON KUTCHER
02.18.09
Ashton Kutcher is making a football movie called Traded, a soon-to-be huge piece of shit. From some Hollywood trade paper:
Ashton Kutcher is looking to tackle a football comedy for Paramount Pictures.
Thesp is in final negotiations to star in the sports-themed pic “Traded,” which had been developed at DreamWorks but became the property of Par following DreamWorks’ exit in the fall.
Storycenters on a superstar NFL quarterback and a 12-year-old middle school geek who magically trade bodies, then quickly learn valuable lessons about humility and courage.
Humility and courage. I bet Ashton could get quite a lesson in those virtues from a 12-year-old. And his girlfriend is old! That’s hilarious. He’s a total douchebag that probably snorted meth out of the ass of that dog in that picture. Other than that he’s a great guy.
UPDATE: FilmDrunk did a post on this earlier in the day, with a banner image that’s worth seeing.
[via Sports Pros(e)]
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Kirk Cameron, Judge Reinhold, Corey Haim, Dudley Moore, Alec Baldwin, Meg Ryan, Fred Savage, and Jamie Lee Curtis ALL just fired their agents.
And then Jamie Lee Curtis ate some yogurt to help her shit. Of course.
I don’t think Ashton fully understood what Vick was trying to teach him about football players and fighting dogs.
You forgot Bruce Willis.
This is Rex Grossman’s life story.
John Malkovich
I thought “Traded” was the story of a guy who exchanged a series of hot 20 year olds for a middle-aged cougar.
/would still do Demi Moore, even if she sounds like Burgess Meredith
The title is misleading because what if Ashton was trying to kill himself or wanted to get in the backseat of a Toonces-driven taxi?
You know how I know you’re gay?
I wonder how many times he has banged that dog.
I’ve got my own script in development about NFL quarterbacks who trading bodies – but the twist is that it’s THREE of them! Along the way one of them learns a valuable lesson about not swearing, another learns a valuable lesson about not having diabetes, and the third learns a valuable lesson about not trying to give his teammates blowjobs in the locker room after home losses.
Someone please send this douche to a high school basketball play-off game in Alabama in the hopes that he gets trampled to death.
Lol…The dog is so cute, katty has one like it too. she is the most welcomed woman on the wealthy romance site ” C e l e b m i n g l e. C 0 M”
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