My man Enrico over at The 700 Level (via Mr. Irrelevant ) weeds through interviews of baseball players so that we don’t have to.  The gem in this interview of Phillies pitcher Cole Hamels is the plan of his wife, Heidi, to adopt an HIV-positive child from Africa. Heidi? You gossum splainin to do:

“We’re in the process of adopting an AIDS orphan from Ethiopia,” she said. “Maybe two. I’m so pumped. I’d adopt six if I could. When I was five years old — I grew up in a very rural town in Missouri, and I had never even seen a black person — they asked us to draw a picture of ourselves in the future, and I drew myself holding hands with a line of tiny black stick figures. I’ve always wanted this.”

Why do they have to refer to him as The AIDS orphan? It’s bad enough that the kid’s gonna grow up with two white parents. You can do anything you want in life, my little AIDS man, but remember the clock is ticking. Think of your T-cell count as your own personal crystal ball in Times Square.

Hey, did we just do a whole baseball post without mentioning the Yankees? I think we did. Good job, us.