PREAKNESS DRUNKS DEALT SETBACK
02.05.09
The Preakness is not only one-third of horse-racing’s Triple Crown, it is also the East Coast’s largest gathering of shirtless white guys in cargo shorts. Attracting lacrosse players and sorority girls from Maryland, New Jersey, and eastern Pennsylvania, the Preakness infield is possibly the most public forum for upper-class white kids to act like drunken assholes.
However, this year, Preakness officials have made a break with history and will no longer allow alcohol or any other beverages into the infield. Instead, 16-oz beers will be available for $3.50 apiece, which translates to “way more expensive per beer than a case of Bud Light” but is still only half the price of a beer at most major league baseball stadiums. Also, in an attempt to divert people from the sole focus of drinking, organizers have booked ZZ Top and Buckcherry, which — ironically — will likely increase people’s focus on drinking.
In case you’re not well acquainted with the ways of the Preakness infield, look no further than Dan Steinberg’s report and the classic video of Port-a-John racing. Sadly, people will be less likely to make a gauntlet of thrown beer if they’ve paid $3.50 a pop for them. But guess what? There’s no limit on the number of ROCKS you can bring to the infield! A tradition lives on!

I need about 3.50
What’s tree-fitty?
“We need to appeal to a younger demo.”
“Way ahead of you. I already booked ZZ Top. They’re flying in from their 3 night show at the Chevy Chase Elks Lodge, and will be ready to rock.”
the list of amazing places to piss all over grows ever smaller.
Why is Buckcherry getting back together? That doesn’t make any sense. Unless… they’ve been recording and touring this whole time… oh dear God that’s sad.
No way! ZZ Top AND Buckcherry?!???
So long Bonnaroo, hellooooo Preakness!
16 ounce beers…..hrmm……difficult to roofy……..
I’m confused by all the colloquialisms used in this story – what the hell is a “Preakness”? As best I can figure out, the only newsworthy item included in this post is that the price of beer at the WNBA All-Star Game is going up to $3.50.
*takes old ZZ Top ticket stub out of his wallet. Stares at it, then throws it away*
Goodbye old friend.
Perhaps the organizers are thinking that the attendees will forgo the cargo shorts and become sharp dressed men.
/sadly couldn’t help myself.
This is a sorry attempt to curb the horsing around.
Throwing rocks at drunks…a tradition unlike any other.
/Jim Nantz
//hello friends
“lacrosse players and sorority girls from Maryland, New Jersey, and eastern Pennsylvania”
Don’t forget all the lacrosse players and sorostitutes in VA and DC….
Wow, dont even have a joke for this one. Sad news. End of an era