PATTON OSWALT ON OLD NFL NICKNAMES
02.02.09Patton Oswalt was promoting a film at Sundance or something, and he made this little video short about old NFL nicknames to somehow promote it. I say “somehow” because I didn’t really catch the name of the movie. But then, it’s not like my attention span is at some kind of all-time high. I’ve been ready to be done with work today since about an hour before I started work. And now I’m finally done. Hooray for me! It’s Miller time!
**masturbates to Marisa Miller**
TAGS: NFL
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Miller time? me too!
**masturbates to Dennis Miller**
// Is that my cock or the monolith from 2001? I haven’t seen a tool pointing upward like this since Huey Lewis thanked the people in the top deck during the “Jacob’s Ladder” tour in ’88…
(alternate ending)
Miller time? me too!
**masturbates to CHERYL Miller**
// happy to say I can’t get it up when I think about Cheryl Miller.
Miller time? Me too!
**Masturbates using Miller Lite Bottle.**
/Uh oh,I should’ve just used a fleshlight. Does anyone know how to remove things from bottles? I can’t fit the butter inbetween the glass and my penis.
“It’s Miller time!”
That’s what I say when I cum.
Patton Oswalt is awesome, but who the fuck wears a scarf next to a pool?
Miller time? Me too!
**Masturbates to Glenn Miller**
/I’m In The Mood, and just created a String Of Pearls.
Miller time? I’m in!
**Puts on Steve Miller Band’s Abracadabra, looks at penis, whispers “I’m gonna reach out and grabya…”**
Miller time? me too!
** sexually assaults flour mill employee **
The way the camera was shacking Im pretty sure hes promoting the next Bourne movie.
Matt says “It’s Miller Time” during sex because he lasts as long as one of those 1 second commercials.
BOOM. ROASTED.
Miller time? Me too!
**Masturbates to Reggie Miller**
/because Reggie Miller is looking good, Boom Goes The Dynamite
Miller time? Me too!
**Masturbates on the corpse of former Yankees manager Miller Huggins.**
Miller time? Me too!
**Masturbates to Ann Miller**
Who doesn’t love dancers who spin?
Miller time? Me too!
**Masturbates to Frank Miller’s “300″**
THIS. IS. SPOOOOGE-A!
Miller time? Me too!
**Starts ambitious 10 year program to return america to the moons surface to assault the miller crater**
1/5 the gravity baby!
I’m ready for round 2 of Miller Time!
**Pulls out VHS tapes of 1992 Olympics, masturbates to Shannon Miller, realizes a felony is being committed, pulls out VHS tape of 1996 Olympics, resumes masturbating legally**
Miller time? Me too!
**Masturbates to Arthur Miller**
What? Willy Loman is hawt!
Miller Time? Me too.
Masturbates to Johnny Miller. Oh, that’s a long straight one!
Miller Time? Me too!
***reads Death of a Salesman***
Millard time? Me too!
**masturbates to Millard Fillmore**
/wait, what?
Miller Time? Again?
**Pulls out weathered copy of Henry Miller’s Tropic of Capricorn**
1st cop: Yup, that horse is dead.
2nd cop: OK, one more Miller joke.
Miller time? Me too!
**Rapes beer delivery guy in the Hi-Life commercials**
/the champagne of ass
Milla time? Me too!
*Watches highlights of Italia 90 whilst wearing the Cameroon kit and pretending to be younger than i obviously am. Masturbates too.*
Hamhocking! So that’s what it’s called. Finally I have a name for it instead of having to graphically demonstrate it to people on the bus.
damn skrait…..Milli Time
*whacks off while listening to “girl you know it’s true”, uses dreadlock wig for a gak sock*
A Milli Time? I’m in!
*whacks off because he is a millionaire, a cash money millionaire , and tougher than Nigerian hair.*