Rule #1 about the Internet: if it seems to good to be true, it is most definitely fake.  And even if it IS real, you’re best off saying that it’s Photoshopped or fake, because it’s way better to be cynical than be some rube who can’t spot a forgery.  That’s the case with this excessive table tennis celebration, which is entertaining but obviously staged, even if some people are fooled:

I don’t really know where this clip is from – other than it appears to be taking place at USC – but it was just uploaded yesterday. And it is awesome. Never before have I seen such a celebration by a guy who just scored his first point after being down 0-10 in a ping-pong match.

And, I’m being dead serious about this, I would absolutely watch way more ping-pong if this happened more frequently.

Let’s play a little game I like to call “Occam’s Razor.”  What’s more likely: a large crowd of people attend a ping-pong tournament in a USC gym, where one player launches into a ridiculous dance after scoring his first point… OR… Students at a college with a famous film school made a humorous video depicting such an event?

Erin Andrews has a better reaction than most in terms of accepting her place in the blogosphere, probably because the only criticism Princess Pageviews manages to field has to do with her wardrobe or her relationships with the athletes she covers (But if Jack Arute gave Pete Carroll a blow job, I’m sure we’d all be fine with it). So it comes as a bit of a surprise when EA went on record and said that, yes, she has reached out to have certain posts about her taken down:

” There’s been situations where stuff that’s been false has been written [about me on the internet]. We’ve kinda had to take action on our own. Whether it’s my agents or lawyers or stuff. It’s kind of hard to stay away from it. I’m not as obsessive I think about it as as I was about it when I first started. It’s amazing that people can write the stuff that they write and not be held accountable for it. Can you imagine if you and I went on air or on the radio and said some of the stuff that these people get away with. We’d be fired. It’s unbelievable.”

We’ve been down this road before, Erin. Your job is to report what’s happening during a game. Our job is to make fun of you, or whatever brings us traffic. We’re accountable to our audience and to anyone that might sue us, including you. And you’re as viable a target or subject of conversation as the people that you cover. And you have very nice cans. Do you have time to give me an autograph? On my weiner? Just make it out “To The President.” And go slowly. it’s gotta be legible enough to scan.

[ESPN 540 Milwaukee, via Sports Radio Interviews]

When people talk about allegations of “hazing,” it makes one typically think of some poor asshole’s house getting toilet-papered or maybe having to scrape shaving cream off the front of his locker. This latest incident involving the Woodland Hills (CA) Taft High School boys’ volleyball team…this doesn’t really sound like hazing. From KTLA:

Eleven students claim they were hazed by their peers, but none sought medical treatment.

[M]any students outside the school Tuesday said it involved suggestive acts with a sex toy….Some students told KTLA they’ve heard rumors that a freshman player was held down in the locker room and sodomized with an object.

The LA Times had an update yesterday:

Six employees at Taft High School were reassigned Tuesday while school district and law enforcement officials investigate an alleged hazing incident in the boys locker room on the Woodland Hills campus…[D]istrict sources said Principal Sharon Thomas and volleyball coach Arman Mercado were among them.[...]

[They] were disciplined because they allegedly did not report the hazing in a timely manner. The incident, which only involved students, was reported to the Los Angeles Police Department on Jan. 30. But top school district officials said they were not aware of the incident until Feb. 17.

Freshmen? I guess they like ‘em older. Once a girl turns 14, she’s totally past her prime. Maybe it’s different with guys. I wouldn’t know, but then I was never as maniacally sexually frustrated at that age. In other words, I never played boys’ volleyball in high school.

Some people have characterized ESPN’s Skip Bayless as the spawn of Satan, and that’s fine, but this asshole would argue that being such a prick wouldn’t hurt the credibility of statements he’d made about Troy Aikman’s sexuality. Bayless made the allegation of Troy’s policy of “pro-homo” in his new book, Hell-Bent: The Crazy Truth About The “Win Or Else” Dallas Cowboys. When pressed about his comments in an interview with The Starting Five, Bayless didn’t back down:

I wish I had sledgehammered [my statements] because it was the truth and everyone who knew what was going on inside the locker room told me the book was a terrific job and that I nailed it.

Because I did. It’s exactly what happened. All I heard from people around the country who didn’t read the book was, “You outed Troy Aikman?” I didn’t. The coach definitely thought he was gay and a lot of his teammates thought he was gay. More than that, they thought he was racist and they thought he was trying to get Barry Switzer.

I see nothing wrong with being a gay quarterback. I can only hope that someday, if this is true, that Troy will have the courage to come forward and fully reveal himself to a public that will accept him for who he is. But we’re not there yet, so let’s just point and yell, “Haha, you’re gay!”

[via Awful Announcing]

I’ve never tried to rationalize the chubby that I get from a certain girl from Vegas that could probably pummel me into a coma, but that’s great thing about MMA’s Gina Carano; there’s so many ways that she could leave you a drooling mess. She’s featured on Maxim.com this month, and somebody took time out from scoping her breasts to interview her.

My first MMA fight was with this girl who shouldn’t have been in the cage with me. I ground and pounded her in 39 seconds. It was a good feeling, sure, but you train your butt off for so long, then it only lasts 39 seconds? Kind of like your other first time.

I remember my first time. It was so romantic. I washed my hand and everything. I still have a memento from our first date. Some people think of it as an old sweat sock with crusted semen, but to me it’s a memory I’ll cherish forever.

[Maxim, via RightFielders]

The start of the NFL’s free agent period tonight will officially mark the end of the Rex Grossman Era in Chicago, and I can’t help but be sentimental. After all, it was Drew’s first Sex Cannon post that started to craft the identity of Kissing Suzy Kolber and put us on the map, and it’s a big reason why I’m sitting here today, instead of blowing middle managers in hopes of a bigger office and better dental plan. So long, Rex. Enjoy the CFL.

[The Trib]

Here’s a solid Top Ten of Grossman meltdowns at InGameNow