OVECHKIN SCORED SLIDING ON HIS DONG
02.19.09Somewhere in this swirling mass of humanity is Alexander Ovechkin scoring his 42nd goal of the season. Wow, my John Thomas goes through a whirlwind of sensations after watching that: chilliness, chafing, elation, and finally soreness. I think my penis needs counseling now.
I don’t understand why they don’t just pop the goalie in the face every time. It worked so well in NHL 95.
![[avatar]](http://p.uproxxcdn.com/global/images/default-avatar.jpg){kind=avatar}
![[image]](http://cdn.wl.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2012/05/la-kings-jello-tickets-2-180x180.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.wl.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2012/05/new_york_rangers_two_shits-180x180.jpg)
The wrap-around would kill ‘em dead every time in NHL 95.
…a whirlwind of sensations after watching that: chilliness, chafing, elation, and finally soreness.
My doctor tells me I can expect the same whirlwind of sensations during my vasectomy.
Gordon Bombay would have missed it.
I protect my junk too if I were skating around with a guy named Hammerlick.
Zack: Don’t.
Jessica Alba scored last night while sliding on my dong.
Ok, it was a dream.
Ok, it was Ovechkin.