02.04.09 OH NO. NO NO NO. DEAR GOD NO.

I’ve read that there’s a class in which you just look at Sean Salibury’s penis.

This one time, at BOSS camp…

Professor Reynolds won’t stop hugging me.

Death take me quickly.

Listen, if it’s somehow unethical to use a position of authority to coerce teenage girls into inappropriate physical contact, then just call me Mr. Wrong.

This is just an elaborate idea for Scott Van Pelt to hook up with chicks.

now are you ready to do something a little more “arty”, Coco? Let’s just loosen that blouse up. No? I’m sorry, I thought you were an adult. Look, if you don’t want to be a model, that’s fine…

// not new to the photography business.

sitting in professor Scott’s “how to act hip, even though you aren’t”

Scott: “will you please stop talking in class?”

LCPL: “are you talking to me?”

Scott: “Yes, I’m looking right at you!”

LCPL: “Ummm…no, you’re not. You’re only half looking at me. The other half is looking at the pencil sharpener on the wall”

Scott: “Go to Mr. Norby’s office again, Mr LCPL”

Ms. Andrews’ class: “Look like this. Have these. Any questions?”

Got detention and my first case g-warts from lighting farts on the Anna Benson Burner.

Anyone taking “Sucking Brett Favre’s Dick 101,” taught by professor Tony Kornheiser? I hear Peter King and John Madden are going to be special guest lecturers!

I was going to take Emmitt Smith quotes 210, but I didn’t have the right prerecklessness.

Chris Berman will only teach one class: Speaking French 222.

Will John Clayton be the guidance counselor? He kind of looks like Mr. Mackay….mmmmmkay?

@ J.L. White: vous êtes avec moi, le cuir???

john kruk is going to go nut!!!!!

so whos taking the mary kay letourneau role here?

pam ward or linda cohn?

I see that Mos Def is excited by this development.