The Padres are parting ways with Matt Bush, their #1 pick in the 2004 draft, after an incident in which Bush allegedly assaulted some high school lacrosse players. So wait, did he do something wrong or what?
A witness… said Bush was drunk, threw a golf club into the dirt, picked up and threw a freshman lacrosse player and hit another one. Bush also yelled “I’m Matt (expletive) Bush,” and “(expletive) East County,” before driving over a curb in his Mercedes when leaving the campus, according to the witness.
Did… did that really just happen? There’s no way I just read that from a newspaper article. That was lifted from the script of a high school movie, right? I was under the impression that a 23-year-old pro athlete wouldn’t hang out with high school kids, and if he did, he wouldn’t fight them, and if he did, he wouldn’t talk about representing his county as he did it, and if he did, he wouldn’t— well, by that point I kinda expect him to drive the Mercedes over the curb, actually.
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Yelling his name eh? Must be good friends with Ko Simpson.
Will he now be forced to play in the Bush League?
/dumb? yes. still cracking myself up? absolutely.
The High Schoolers looked quizzically at each other and said “Whose Matt Bush?”
Maybe they thought he was a relative of George Dub.
But really, fuck East County. Buncha bro’s and meth heads.
Bush then attended a bonfire party at a local beach where he discovered Patrick Dempsey making out with his girlfriend.
/see what I did there? With the 80′s movie bully thing?
/shows self out in shame
Bush confessed to [Security Supervisor Eric] Fricke that this was his first time doing anything like this.
The altercation began after the high schoolers kept asking him how fat Kim Kardashian’s ass really is.
Matt Bush also hangs out in pool halls and works for the city. Tomorrow, he’s going to go buy Aerosmith tickets.
They shortchanged him on the beer money.
Damn you enrico for crushing my joke with a much better one.
/and +1
I am Malcom X.
“I’m Matt (expletive) Bush!!! KING KONG AIN’T GOT NOTHIN ON ME!!!”
Threw a golf club? Attacked lacrosse players? Did he also insult Buffy and Chip’s summmer home?
Judge Smails is unimpressed.
Threw a golf club? Attacked lacrosse players? Did he also insult Buffy and Chip’s summmer home?
“Ahoy, polloi!”
he can always take pride in the fact that he is still less of a bust than Reggie Bush
breath in, breath out. Breath in, breath out.
Matt Bush “Why she with those nerds anyway”
Toady Friend lifting weights ” Don’t worry bout her bro, she’s from Glendale”
So did he throw the first lacrosse player into/onto the other guy or what??