Current Oakland A and former New York Yankee Jason Giambi told the San Francisco Chronicle that his post-retirement plans could involve “Maybe [being a] bouncer at a strip joint. That’s about all I’m qualified to do.” It appears that Giambi will have at least one taker:

Rick’s Cabaret New York (50 W 33 Street) wants Giambi to know that they will employ him as soon he is ready. “The Rick’s Girls love Jason,” said Rick’s Cabaret spokesperson Lonnie Hanover. “They would be glad to work with him.”

“He may think that he is only qualified to be a bouncer, but we think that he would make a good VIP host,” Hanover explained. “Rick’s is well known as the gentlemen’s club of choice for celebrities and sports stars, and Jason would often see a lot of his old teammates.”

It’s great to have options after retirement. Especially when those options involves scantily-clad women in poorly-lit rooms with overpriced beverages. But I don’t want Jason Giambi anywhere near my erection. There’s a reason that Al Gore invented porn: so we’d have something to find on Google Image Search on those lonely nights. That was Gore, right? Or was it Al Green? I get those two mixed up all the time.