
NFL free agency has started with a bang. Reports are out that Albert Haynesworth will sign with the Washington Redskins in blockbuster deal worth $100 million or so over seven years. And SI.com is reporting that the ‘Skins are also shelling out $54 mil for troublemaking cornerback DeAngelo Hall. And then Dan Snyder went out and spent five bucks for a pack of gum, and then took one piece out of the pack and threw the rest away. That guy really hates gum. Allegedly.
In other free agent news, Manny Ramirez turned down a one-year offer that would have paid him $25 million this year. And then like 93 girls wanted to have sex with him and he turned all of them down. Why does everybody hate gum? What did gum ever do to you people?
SITE NEWS: Saint Andrew’s Net will run around noon today. Because I’m your father, that’s why!


sometimes I pretend Im Albert at the bar and do swim moves through the crowd.
DeAngelo got $54? And I believe that’s over six years. He is going to make it drizzle in the club with that $9 a year.
Good luck being a part of a team that’s said to do well every year and then shit its pants like an 80 year old at an old folks home.
I didn’t know Sir Loin was a Redskins fan.
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Dan Snyder would pay $600,000 for a burger made of Ca$h Cow.
That Ca$h Cow’s jewelry cost more than my apartment.
Manny turns down $25 mil for one year worth of “work” while I have to borrow to make rent this month. Go fuck yourself you overpaid cocksucker.
Andre now gets double the yearly chances to stomp on Andre Gurode’s neck!
Fun Fact: The most expensive dairy cow sold at auction was for 1.45 million dollars
In Washington, stepping on people’s faces is actually encouraged!
You da cow!