Comments on: DIVING IS BAD FOR YOUR FACE

By: Sex Cannon

Sex Cannon — Thu, 19 Feb 2009 22:06:39 +0000

Phelps toked her up right before this.

By: fallex

fallex — Thu, 19 Feb 2009 21:29:32 +0000

Is it just me, or was she black (or some non-caucasion persuasion) when she started out on the diving board, then lily-white after she came up for air? Not racist. Just confused.

By: WhyDoYouAsk

WhyDoYouAsk — Thu, 19 Feb 2009 21:23:10 +0000

I was going to be a lifeguard one summer, but the Nazis there decided thongs weren’t appropriate lifeguard attire. I was all, hey, it’s not like you can really see the buttplug, but they were like, sir, please stay 100 yards away from Tutor Time. I blame Obama.

By: Enrico Pallazzo

Enrico Pallazzo — Thu, 19 Feb 2009 21:20:39 +0000

When I was a lifeguard in high school

Introducing the new chief of WL, Mr. Hobey Buchanan!!!

By: Pauly

Pauly — Thu, 19 Feb 2009 21:07:27 +0000

*tucks dick back*

Hey Vince, would you mouth-to-mouth me?

I’d mouth-to-mouth me. I’d mouth-to-mouth me hard.

By: Zack

Zack — Thu, 19 Feb 2009 21:04:39 +0000

@WWSM: You jest, but in truth both the pools I managed during those summers (MD and VA) were no deeper than 5 ft. $7.50/hour to sit in the shade and read paperbacks. Not a bad gig.

By: Pauly

Pauly — Thu, 19 Feb 2009 21:04:04 +0000

Fuck you, lifeguards.

Who are they to say I can’t beat-off in a public pool?

By: whowillsexmutombo

whowillsexmutombo — Thu, 19 Feb 2009 20:59:55 +0000

@Zack:
The shed full of water wings and deep end of the pool measuring 3′8″ should have tipped you off that you were going to have a slow summer.

By: Zack

Zack — Thu, 19 Feb 2009 20:54:29 +0000

@Pauly: +1

I was a lifeguard too, but not until college. It didn’t get me laid nearly as often as I’d hoped it would.

By: Vince Mancini

Vince Mancini — Thu, 19 Feb 2009 20:49:56 +0000

I was also a lifeguard in high school. I enforced a strict if-you’re-ugly-i-hope-you-can-swim policy.