01.30.09 WEEKEND PICKS: SUPER BOWL PREDICTION

What to watch for in this weekend’s biggest matchups.  One side or another in ALL CAPS.

STEELERS over Cardinals – A lot of so-called experts have spent the extra week talking themselves into believing that the Cardinals are the same caliber of team as the Steelers.  Now, I’m not saying that the Cards don’t have a chance, but I think it’s pretty foolish to predict that they’ll even cover the 7-point spread.  Hope for the best and prepare for the worst, people.  And put a lot more effort into preparing for the worst.

GEORGES ST-PIERRES over B.J. Penn — It’s a pretty fantastic weekend to have a big flatscreen with HD.  I’ll take GSP in this fight; if he has a weakness, I haven’t seen it.  Maybe his weakness is Thai whores?  B.J. Penn should bring some to the Octagon just in case.

Penguins over MAPLE LEAFS (Hockey Night in Canada) — Goddammit.  The plural of “Leaf” is LEAVES, you stupid Canucks!  I’m never gonna get over that.

Joe Torre over DAVID WELLS — The fat man won this round, but I’m not gonna stand behind a guy with diabetes who once missed playing time due to gout.  Gout: the “Disease of Kings” that attacks the “decadent and indolent.”  Wells is gonna die before Torre can respond.

Have a great weekend, everybody.  Check back in over the weekend, as I’ll be doing some extra work like posting Super Bowl links and putting prettier pictures at the top of the page.