Apparently some fancy-schmantzy dinner was put on for the sponsors of the FDR Open in Phoenix (that’s a golf tournament, apparently). And really, no golf tournament dinner is complete without a high-risk acrobatics performance. How did it go, you ask?
San Diego resident Jose Angel Vera [not pictured], 33, was performing an acrobatic stunt involving chains in front of more than 700 people. As he was unraveling the chains, he fell from the rafters onto the ground. Witnesses said he fell on his head. [ :( ]
[...]A server explained that the ground is asphalt and that there were no supports or safety nets.[...]
The dinner was cancelled as police investigated the accident.
Oh, and he died. I guess nobody told that guy that those rafters were Tiger-proofed. But seriously, it kinda pisses me off that the PGA Tour, in these trying economic times, can still afford to have acrobats at their sponsorship dinners. I’m lucky if I see two homeless guys fighting over a shopping cart when I walk out of Burger King. Just remember that if one of them catches fire and you make a wish, it comes true. I have the insurance check to prove it.
![[image]](http://cdn.wl.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/tiger-woods-fried-chicken-180x180.png)
![[image]](http://cdn.wl.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/wizard-battle-stadium-180x180.png)
![[image]](http://cdn.wl.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/Mind-of-Mencia-180x180.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.wl.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/miguel-angel-jimenez-180x180.png)
Acrobats and mimes all deserve the deceleration trauma that only gravity can supply.
I find that when I do stunts with chains, it’s helpful to have both a safety net, and a safety word.
Oh, and get the cash up front. It’s hard to chase a John down the street with a kryptonite lock wedged up your ass.
If I had one of those homeless-guy-on-fire wishes, I would use it to turn back time and make the acrobat land on top of a rollerblader and kill him, too.
Did he yell ‘four’ on the way down?
That is interesting first sentence.
If CSI has taught us anything about crimes in the southwest, it’s this:
uh… fuck. Check for GSR? Use a fancy light to look for sperm? Check his liver temperature?
// I don’t really understand forensics.
In these hard economic times…. but as the post clearly reads they got a Mexican, so that had to save them some cash.
Yamabushi says:
Did he yell ‘four’ on the way down?
That one killed me dude.
NUG-GET NUG-GET
Owen Hart is aparently still alive! And now he’s dead again.
Jose Angel Vera
More like Now an Angel Seeya.
/high fives self
*FBR Open. misinformation ftl.
/punches sex cannon in the face…and rex grossman.
Real superheroes take their vitamins, eat their vegetables, and drink their milk.