“All hands on dick”

Tampa is well-known to be a haven for the strip club connoisseur, and this week the local flesh peddlers expect business to boom like never before, as landmark clubs like 2001 Odyssey and Mons Venus are within walking distance of Raymond James Stadium.

“Tampa has a reputation for having the most strip clubs and the most girls who are a lot of fun,” says a 25-year-old exotic dancer named Claudia, who left her usual gig in Las Vegas to work the Super Bowl week here…. Claudia says she’s worked four previous Super Bowls and expects to make as much as $2,000 a day performing at 2001 Odyssey… “It’s so crazy, everybody is in a such a party mood,” she says. “It’s a whole new level of everything.”

The clubs have been busy auditioning more dancers and upgrading their interiors. Some will stay open 24 hours.

Naturally, bitch-ass politicians passed a “no lap-dance” law designed to keep dancers six feet away from patrons in an effort to try to promote lame crap like the city’s beaches and vibrant Latin quarter.

“It’s like cockroaches,” [a former city councilman who pushed the six-foot ordinance] says. “If you don’t stay on top of it, it will infect and run you over. And that’s exactly what’s happened.”

I respectfully disagree.  I’ve never had a coked-up cockroach give me a boner and swindle me for an extra $20 before.